Review
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"An authoritative, engaging guide to being happy
together! Filled with personal stories, practical
recommendations, and scientific research from positive
psychology!"--Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author
of Grit, Founder and CEO of Character Lab, and Christopher H.
Browne Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of
Pennsylvania
“Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and James Pawelski provide practical,
evidence-based advice about how each of us can make the most out
of our romantic relationships. relationships can be the
source of lasting joy or excruciating heartache depending on how
they’re managed. Happy Together is the definitive guidebook on
how to navigate this most important aspect of our lives. I wish I
would've had this book 20 years ago. Read it… you can thank me
later.”--Larry King, Peabody award-winning television and radio
host
"Happy Together is one of the most powerful books on
relationships I have ever read. Loaded with ideas and research,
this book unlocks the keys to building a y relationship
that will strengthen both partners and create more well-being for
many others in the process!”--Tom Rath, #1 New York Times
bestselling author of StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Are You Fully
Charged
"Suzie and James masterfully show that happily ever after doesn’t
come from a perfect, problem-free life. Rather, it comes from
knowing how to adapt with your partner to the range of joys and
adversities we all experience. Weaving together empirical
research, philosophical wisdom, and real-life examples, Happy
Together demonstrates the central importance of emotional agility
for romantic relationships—and shows you how to cultivate it with
your partner."--Susan David, #1 Wall Street Journal Best-Selling
author of Emotional Agility, Co-founder of the Institute of
Coaching at McLean Hospital, and Psychologist at Harvard Medical
School
"Suzie and James beautifully weave ancient wisdom with modern
research, personal stories with universal truths, the art of love
with the science of love. Relationships are potentially the
number one predictor of happiness. This book can help you to
realize--to make real--this potential. Read it, together or
alone, read it now."--Tal Ben-Shahar, New York Times bestselling
author of Happier and Being Happy and Harvard University lecturer
“I loved it! Happy Together is a pioneering book filled with
helpful advice and engaging exercises that will make your
relationship stronger and more fulfilling. Every couple needs to
read it!”—Jon Gordon, Wall Street Journal bestselling author
of The Energy Bus and The Power of Positive Leadership
“I believe the main purpose in life is to grow in our capacity
to give and receive love.
Happy Together is a must read for anyone seeking this purpose in
their romantic relationship.”--Marci Shimoff, #1 New York
Times bestselling author, Happy for No Reason
“Falling in love is easy. Falling in love with the right person
is harder. And staying in love is harder still. But it's
possible. In their clear, engaging, and thoughtful book, Suzie
and James Pawelski combine the wisdom of Aristotle with the
empirical research of modern psychology to show us how. Combining
poignant anecdotes (including many tales from their own
relationship), research findings, and lots of very practical
advice, in Happy Together, the Pawelskis provide both a "how to"
and a "why to" guide that will help people nurture and sustain
lasting loving relationships. It takes work to stay in love, but
it's worth the effort, and Happy Together is a luminous road
for that effort.”--Barry Schwartz, bestselling author of The
Paradox of Choice, Why We Work, and Practical Wisdom with Kenneth
Sharpe
"With the high-level perspective of decades in the field of
happiness, and the understanding of the challenges of
long-term intimacy from their own relationship, Suzie and James
Pawelski have created an accessible playbook for anyone seeking
what we all seek: deep and meaningful love that lasts. Together,
they teach us that there is no quick fix to happiness
together—nor should there be. Rather, with a little bit of work
and a lot of will, there is indeed a way to bring out the best in
ourselves and those we love most. You'll be happy you read this
book."--Larry Smith, creator of the Six-Word Memoir project and
New York Times bestselling book series
“A philosopher, a psychologist, and a journalist walk into a
bar. Grab your partner and walk in after them! Because as this
book shows, what they know can help you live happily ever
after.”--Yakov Smirnoff, comedian, actor, and writer
“As a movie producer, I’m well aware that movies can contribute
to the illusory simplicity of ‘happily ever after,’ but movies
can also show us that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished
without effort. The movie hero who wants to achieve something has
to do something, to take action over and over again in order to
reach his or her goal. Suzie and James have written a book that
gives us science-based steps to take to accomplish that ‘happily
ever after’ and to show couples how to become the heroes of their
own love story – from first kiss till death do them
part.”--Lindsay Doran, producer of “Sense and Sensibility” and
“Nanny McPhee”
“Reading Happy Together is like a visit to a romantic
relationship gym. The book is a beautifully written guide on how
to use the principles of positive psychology to develop and to
enhance relationships. The authors, both positive
psychology experts, also frankly share their own marital
experiences to show, rather than tell, couples how to grow
together. This book will make an imaginative gift to any couple
planning on making a life together or wishing to enhance an
already established relationship.”--George E. Vaillant M.D.,
Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author
of Triumphs of Experience
“If your marriage occasionally disappoints you or is not quite
up to your expectations, the Pawelskis bring advice from the
field of positive psychology to help you enrich your
relationship. Recognizing the strengths of both partners,
savoring and gratitude, and knowing that love is an action verb
are highly related to the most rewarding partnerships. The
authors offer both an excellent description of how to improve
one's relationships, and also exercises to practice these
activities.”--Ed Diener, leading positive psychology researcher
and Gallup senior scientist
“Wishing for your happily-ever-after is never enough.
Thankfully, science can step in to offer real hope. Happy
Together is an accessible guide that can help any couple
cultivate positive emotions rather than just wish and wait for
them. Take it to heart and use the science of well-being to
create a lifetime of happiness together.”--Barbara Fredrickson,
Ph.D., author of Love 2.0 and Positivity
“In this groundbreaking book, Suzie and James Pawelski explore
the how of being happy together. Based on scientific research,
framed by ancient wisdom, informed by their own ins and
experience, and presented in a clear and engaging style, their
book is a practical and powerful guide to building love that
lasts.”--Sonja Lyubomirsky, Professor of Psychology, University
of California, Riverside, and author of The How of
Happiness and The Myths of Happiness
“There’s no more fitting, knowledgeable or loving couple than
Suzie and James to share with the world how to achieve and
experience the “happily ever after” we’ve all dreamed about. They
detail with wit, warmth and personal examples how a romantic team
is at its best when each player helps the other reach his or her
highest potential. The Pawelskis’ inful application of
positive psychology and accessible style make Happy Together a
‘must-have’ on my list of key resources in the space.”--Deborah
K. Heisz, Co-founder, CEO, and editorial director, Live Happy
“The Pawelskis have done the seemingly impossible: They have
shown us how to realistically build long-lasting love, despite
the inevitable hardships of relationships. Equipped with the
tools of positive psychology and the philosophy of Aristotle, you
will be able to have relationships that are deeper, wiser, more
mutually inspiring, and of course, happier.”--Scott Barry
Kaufman, Director of the University of Pennyslvania's Imagination
Institute and author of Wired to Create
"Suzie and James have knocked it out of the park with a practical
guide to lasting love. I highly recommend this book to anyone who
wants to know the real keys to a happy, fulfilling relationship,
backed by years of research."--Valorie Burton, bestselling author
of Successful Women Think Differently and Happy Women Live Better
“Actually DO what this book presents and you will no doubt
elevate the most important aspect of your life—your loving
relationships.”--Neal Mayerson, Ph.D., Chairman, The VIA
Institute and President, Manuel D. and Rhoda Mayerson Foundation
and The Mayerson Company
“Happy Together presents a powerful case for 'finding and
feeding the good in ourselves and our partners' to build
satisfying, sustainable relationships. I especially enjoyed the
exercises included throughout the book. This message aligns
perfectly with the Institute for Integrative tion where
we consider positive relationships a crucial and primary food for
and happiness.”--Joshua Rosenthal, Founder and Director,
Institute for Integrative tion
“It has arrived – your relationship gym! Happy Together is an
artful, intelligent, and user-friendly integration of the best
science to improve your romantic relationships. If every new
couple read and followed the ins and exercises in Suzann
Pileggi and James Pawelski’s new book, relationship therapists
would be out of business and flourishing relationships would
become the norm. Our romantic relationship can be our source of
greatest tension or our wellspring of greatest strength. Pileggi
and Pawelski show us we can choose the latter by creating
synergies of relational character strength through savoring,
passion, strengths conversations, and much more.”--Ryan M.
Niemiec, author of Character Strengths Interventions and
Mindfulness and Character Strengths, Education Director of the
global VIA Institute on Character
"Couples the world over fall in love and then fall into
normality and taking each other for granted. Many relationships
wither and some die. But it doesn’t have to be that way. As this
book so powerfully shows, we can all learn how to retain the
vitality in our relationships and make them thrive. Suzie and
James beautifully demonstrate through scientific research and
engaging anecdotes that the true joy of a good relationship is
to value one another, grow as individuals, and become stronger
together. This book will change lives for the better."--Sir
Anthony Seldon, author, co-founder of Action for Happiness, and
Vice-Chancellor of the University of Buckingham
“What do you get when a master teacher of positive psychology
and a successful journalist fall in love, marry and start a
family? The answer to this riddle is, Happy Together, an
inspiring, engaging and practical book on how to develop, deepen
and enrich relationships. Melding empirical research,
personal experience, and narratives of couples, Suzann Pileggi
Pawelski and James Pawelski and have written the first major work
on the application of positive psychology to love, intimacy, and
how to build an enduring and deeply satisfying relationship.
This book speaks to couples looking to enhance their
relationship, clinicians working with individuals and couples and
anyone who wants to know how successful relationships really
work.”--Richard F. Summers, MD, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry
and Senior Residency Advisor, Perelman School of Medicine of the
University of Pennsylvania, author of Psychodynamic Therapy: A
Guide to Evidence Based Practice and Positive Psychiatry: A
Casebook
“Happy Together is about real magic, not the kind that you read
about in fairy tales, but the magic that comes from one of the
most powerful experiences in the world, the unconditional
acceptance of another human being. Romantic love is easy, common,
and all too fleeting. Happy Together is about something much more
important, the kind of bond that sustains us through joy and
sorrow both, the alchemy that turns passionate lovers into
partners for life. If you’ve ever suspected that there must be a
secret to a happy relationship, you were right. The secret is
here. It’s essential reading if you want to stay connected for
good.”--Michael Be, MD, Director, Penn Program for
Mindfulness, University of Pennsylvania
“This superb book, by one of the most popular couples in
positive psychology, meshes strong science with clear
applications and sound exercises. It is a must read for all of us
who want to better understand our romantic relationship and how
best to improve it.”--Robert J. Vallerand, Ph.D., author of the
award-winning book The Psychology of Passion, Canada Research
Chair on Motivational Processes and Optimal Functioning and
Professor of Social Psychology, Université du Québec à Montréal
“The science of positive psychology can guide and inform
powerful interventions and applications. Happy Together is
a must-read exemplar of how to use evidence-based positive
psychology principles to improve one of the most powerful
predictors of happiness and well-being—our
most significant relationships.”--Stewart I. Donaldson, Professor
of Psychology and Community & Global at Claremont Graduate
University, Editor of Scientific Advances in Positive Psychology
and Applied Positive Psychology: Improving Everyday Life,
Schools, Work, and Society
"This pioneering, important book is must reading for any couple
that wants proven ways to enhance passion, love and long-term
stability. It takes grit to weather the challenges that occur in
any marriage, but these positive psychology leaders have given us
new tools and fresh evidence to help us survive and thrive in
'green cape' relationships."--Caroline Adams Miller, P, author
of Creating Your Best Life and Getting Grit
“Happy Together is my kind of book: it convinces me with
research, inspires me with stories, enlightens me with quizzes,
and motivates me with exercises to be a better man and a better
husband. I’m using it cover to cover in my own relationship—and
recommending it to everyone I know!”-- David J. Pollay,
bestselling author of The Law of the Garbage Truck and founder of
PollayCoaching.com
“Reading Happy Together is like having husband-and-wife team
Suzann and James Pawelski as your personal trainer for your
marriage or future y relationship. Talk about packed with
thought-provoking and action-focused relationship exercises! You
can do these on your own or with your partner to learn how to
cultivate the REAL "happily ever after."--Margaret H. Greenberg,
P, and Senia Maymin, PhD and P, bestselling authors of
Profit from the Positive
“Happy Together, the first book to apply the science of positive
psychology to romantic relationships, is a true gem. The message
given to us by husband and wife team, Suzie Pileggi Pawelski and
James Pawelski, is that keeping love alive requires effort. The
good news is that the type of effort they suggest we put in
happens to be a naturally enjoyable kind of effort. Suzie and
James show us how playing to our strengths, expressing gratitude
and savoring—all fun things to do in their own right—help to
build passion and deep love with our partners. This book will
enrich and enliven the relationship you have with that someone
special.”--Lea Waters, Ph.D., author of The Strength
Switch, President, International Positive Psychology Association,
Gerry Higgins Chair of Positive Psychology, University of
Melbourne
"For anyone in a relationship or looking for a relationship,
Happy Together is a must read. Using research and real-life
examples, Suzie and James Pawelski explore what it really means
to live happily ever after. This is not your typical “couple’s
therapy” book—it is packed with illuminating and often
counter-intuitive ins about how to find and build love that
lasts. Read it with a highlighter in hand—there is actionable
advice and timeless wisdom on every page. I am going to prescribe
it to every couple I know.”--Samantha Boardman, MD, Weill Cornell
Medical College
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About the Author
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SUZANN (“Suzie”) PILEGGI PAWELSKI, P, is a freelance writer
and well-being consultant specializing in the science of
happiness and its effects on relationships and . She has a
Master of Applied Positive Psychology degree from the University
of Pennsylvania. Her 2010 Scientific American Mind cover story,
"The Happy Couple," was the catalyst for this book. Suzie blogs
for Psychology Today and writes the "Science of Well-being"
column for Live Happy, where she is also a contributing editor.
Previously, she directed award-winning media relations campaigns
for Fortune 500 clients and worked in publicity at Radio City
Music Hall and as an associate producer for HBO Downtown
Productions and The Joan Rivers Show.
JAMES PAWELSKI, Ph.D., is Professor of Practice and Director of
Education in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of
Pennsylvania, where he cofounded the Master of Applied Positive
Psychology (P) program with Martin Seligman. The Founding
Executive Director of IPPA, he is currently leading a three-year,
multi-million-dollar grant investigating connections between the
science of well-being and the arts and humanities. An
international keynote speaker, he has presented in more than 20
countries on 6 continents. He is frequently featured in the
media, including the New York Times, U.S. News and World Report,
Philadelphia Inquirer, and The Today Show.
Together, Suzie and James regularly lead Romance and Research
(TM) workshops around the world.
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