Product Description
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The celebrated debut album from singer-songwriter Bruno Mars,
who scooped the Best International Male Solo Artist award at the
2012 BRITs off the back of a string of hits from the album,
including "Grenade", "The Lazy Song" and "Marry You".
Review
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Every day, life presents us with puzzling posers. Why did the
Crazy Frog have a penis? It makes no sense. Others are far easier
to tackle. Recently, the music press asked, for roughly the nth
time: is rock dead? The foundation for said inquisition: rock
tracks accounted for only three of the UK’s 100 top-selling
singles of 2010. And the answer is, of course, no. But it’s the
success of jack-of-all-trades artists like Bruno Mars (pop, soul,
reggae, RnB – he has a crack at them all), whose two British
singles to date have both topped the chart, that threatens rock’s
influence on this nation’s impressionable youths.
Which is, frankly, a disaster in waiting – this is some of the
most uninspired music one might stumble across in 2011. Doo-Wops
& Hooligans rather lays its cards on the table with its title
alone – doo-wop suggests simplicity and accessibility, but
hooligans, well, they can be trouble. Appropriately, this is
immediate fare, every little motif and melody geared for maximum
commercial appeal (i.e. the record lacks any individuality or
personality whatsoever, unfolding as a mush of well-known artists
past and present). The danger, though, doesn’t stem from a little
tension in the lyrics or dynamic flair in the arrangements. No.
The danger is that unless Mars is stopped, there will be more of
this. More music that wants to be The Script one minute and
Michael Jackson the next; music which strums its way into
existence with the same vapidity that fellow Hawaiian Jack
Johnson has constructed a career on; music so spectacularly beige
that it’s a wonder anyone has picked it out from the crowd before
now.
Perhaps Mars’ name is accountable for his achievements to date.
It’s something US artists do well, adopting monikers that make
them sound like super heroes. Bruno Mars (real name Peter
Hernandez): you can imagine him swooping in to save the damsel in
distress. Whereas domestic chart-toppers likes Tinie Tempah and
Dizzee Rascal sound more like rejects from the Bash Street Kids
gang. A couple of contributors inject a little colour into
proceedings – Damian Marley spends ten in the studio for a few
bars of Liquor Store Blues, and B.o.B. returns the ‘featuring’
favour, after his Mars-guesting Nothin’ on You hit, by showing up
on closer The Other Side. But when Mars is left to his own
devices, inspiration vaporises (this, despite some fine past form
in a producer role). Marry You is a too-clingy and very creepy
love song, Talking to the Moon a ballad devoid of detectable
emotion, and Grenade fails to observe the first rule of catching
said explosive device: toss the thing back.
The slushy sentiments will click with a tweenager in the throes
of a first crush – but anyone with life and love experience
beyond passing notes around at the back of class is advised to
pass on this collection of monochrome musings in favour of
something with a heartbeat. Perhaps, even, something that rocks.
--Mike Diver
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