A Letter from Jane Fonda In my memoir, My Life So Far, I defined
my life in three acts: Act I, from birth to 29 years; Act II,
from 30 to 59 years; and Act III, from 60 until the end. It
really seemed to resonate with people, and a few years after the
book came out, my editor at Random House, Kate Medina, came to me
and suggested I write a book focusing more on the Third Act. I
was interested in doing this because I was already well into my
Third Act and relished the challenge to dig deeper, to understand
its meaning, to learn how to make the most of it, and to navigate
the inevitable challenges of aging--what is negotiable and what
isn't.
Third Acts are important. They can make sense out of what may
seem like discordant, confusing First Acts. Third Acts can, if we
think about it, allow us to discover who we really are. Entered
with intention, Third Acts can help us become midwives to
ourselves before we die.
I knew that this exploration is especially important now,
because in the last century, the average life expectancy has
expanded by 35 years! Think about it: At the time of our founding
hers, the average person died at around 35 years of age. Now
we can expect to live, on average, 80 years! An entire second
adult lifetime! This amazing gift of time means that Third Acts
have gained a whole new significance.
Yet we are pioneers within this new reality. We need a road
to show us how to navigate the new terrain. I wanted to create
this road--for myself, as well as for my readers. We who are
approaching our Third Acts (or are already in the midst of them,
as I am), can show the way for those coming up--our children,
grandchildren, nieces, and nephews.
We are still living with the old paradigm of aging, which can
best be described as an arch: We are born, we peak at midlife,
and then decline--age as pathology.
While researching my book, I discovered another paradigm, one
that is far more appropriate given the longevity revolution. It
is the image of a staircase, an upward ascension until the
end--age as potential--for wisdom, authenticity, and wholeness.
This metaphor for aging is one that I myself am experiencing,
and I wanted to understand why this is so and write about it.
Yes, my body is experiencing the effects of age, but after coming
through a very difficult, painful midlife, I find that I am
happier, more peaceful, and more content than I have ever been.
My relationships are deeper and less anxious. I find this is
true, by the way, for most of my older friends. This was not at
all what I had expected at this stage of life! Yes, we forget
things, but we also remember a lot and with more vividness now
because we know why we want to remember them. Yes, we lose
eye, but we gain in. We learn what we need and what to
let go of. We tend to make lemons into lemonade instead of
ains out of molehills. Scientists call this the Positivity
Factor and their research shows it to be the case for most women
and men over 50, regardless of their circumstances, even in the
face of physical challenges. How, I wanted to know, can we ensure
this is true for us?
I sat myself down and made a list of all the things I wanted to
know about aging, from sex to exercise; from tion to wisdom.
A to Z. I talked to scientists, doctors, priests. To
centenarians. To men and women in long-term marriages, and those
who were looking for love or needing a way out of loneliness. I
write about my own experiences and much more.
I realized that to better navigate our Third Act, we benefit by
reviewing the first two acts. I call this doing a Life Review,
and it can profoundly alter our understanding of ourselves, our
past, and what we need to do to complete ourselves as we ascend
the staircase to the end. This is why Prime Time includes a
discussion of Acts I and II and the developmental issues that lie
within each of them, as well as questions you can ask yourself
about how you were at those times. Understanding these things can
help you swing into your Third Act as prepared as possible to
make it your Prime Time.